Can two people ever really be JUST FRIENDS after being in a relationship?
Let’s explore the basic types of break-ups:
- Harsh break-up: This probably happened because something big and huge went down. For Example, cheating, fighting, or actions.
- “no more feelings” break-up: One side just doesn’t have the feelings anymore and needs to see other people. It should only be hard to be “just friends” for the other side.
- Casual “let’s just be friends” break-up: somehow you both decide to be friends.
I’m going to be focusing on the last one.
When you share something as close as a relationship how do you know how to act around them after breaking up? You will still want to walk up to them in a crowd and grab their hand, kiss their cheek, wrap your arms around them, etc. Dating someone breaks down any and all boundaries that two people have. I definitely wouldn’t go up to my best friend and kiss him or hold his hand because those are friend boundaries.
After your first kiss there is no boundary line. You kiss all the time.
After you have sex there is no boundary line. You can’t go back to just kissing, just holding hands, and DEFINITELY just being friends. You will always have that sexual connection.
So how can you see the person you just dissolved boundary lines with and not have the urge to be more than just friends? It’s definitely tough because you are so used to having no boundaries that you can’t get used to not kissing someone hello/goodbye. When both sides are having a hard time with building the boundary walls back up its easy to slip up. You could be testing the “just friends” relationship by hanging out be totally cool and one person makes a move. You now have to start all over. Like an earthquake came rolling through ruining all your construction. If you want to be just friends it would just be easier to not start dating at all.
To date or not to date, that should be the question.
So Cal love,
California Girl ❤