You’re Never Fully Dressed

In the words of Annie: You’re never fully dressed without a smile.

Lately I have been living by the quote “A day will never be any more than what you make of it.”

I decided if I can’t have a great day, I’m going to make my own and I have. The past few months have been awesome. Smiling more, laughing more, and being my funny old self more! However, when I am alone, mostly at night laying in bed, a smile isn’t so easy to come by. I’m not saying I’m putting on a mask to hide my sadness during the day, but the night is when I do most of my thinking. What do I think about? My day, funny memories, my family, my life, and recently how I am still having the same stupid problem…finding the right guy.

I really am over this whole ‘be young and have fun, party when you can, see lots of people’ thing. I want to have someone for me. Don’t get me wrong! I love to have fun and go out. I just wish I had someone, like I said, for me.  Sorry if this is repeating-my-past-blogs-ish. Guys suck. They are there one minute and gone the next. Getting one to stick around is a rarity in my life.

My sister tells me “they will realize what they’ve lost and wish they had held on” and maybe she’s right. I just want them to realize what they will have, what they CAN have, what they have when they are with me.

Having them come and go not only hurts but it makes me more skeptical with who I start wanting to be with. I wait to long and they lose interest or they get the wrong impression and think I don’t have the same feelings for them. It always seems once they are gone, I’m ready to be with them. Maybe it’s me. I don’t know.

Needless to say, I think if you took a picture of my heart you’d see a lot of staples and duct tape. It’s not like I’m forcing them to marry me! I just want to spend some of my life with one person! Not Mr. Right, just Mr. Right Now.

Here’s to hoping some day soon someone will stick around for a bit!

So Cal Love,

California Girl ❤

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