Tag Archives: friends

Just Friends?

Can two people ever really be JUST FRIENDS after being in a relationship?

Let’s explore the basic types of break-ups:

  • Harsh break-up: This probably happened because something big and huge went down. For Example, cheating, fighting, or actions.
  • “no more feelings” break-up: One side just doesn’t have the feelings anymore and needs to see other people. It should only be hard to be “just friends” for the other side.
  • Casual “let’s just be friends” break-up: somehow you both decide to be friends.

I’m going to be focusing on the last one.

When you share something as close as a relationship how do you know how to act around them after breaking up? You will still want to walk up to them in a crowd and grab their hand, kiss their cheek, wrap your arms around them, etc. Dating someone breaks down any and all boundaries that two people have.  I definitely wouldn’t go up to my best friend and kiss him or hold his hand because those are friend boundaries.

After your first kiss there is no boundary line. You kiss all the time.

After you have sex there is no boundary line. You can’t go back to just kissing, just holding hands, and DEFINITELY just being friends. You will always have that sexual connection.

So how can you see the person you just dissolved boundary lines with and not have the urge to be more than just friends? It’s definitely tough because you are so used to having no boundaries that you can’t get used to not kissing someone hello/goodbye. When both sides are having a hard time with building the boundary walls back up its easy to slip up. You could be testing the “just friends” relationship by hanging out be totally cool and one person makes a move. You now have to start all over. Like an earthquake came rolling through ruining all your construction. If you want to be just friends it would just be easier to not start dating at all.

To date or not to date, that should be the question.

So Cal love,

California Girl ❤

Telling is easy. Listening is hard.

Why is it that when your down in the dumps the words “it will get better” don’t seem to make sense, but they are the first words out of your mouth when a friend is hurt?

“You will find someone better.”

“This just means you were not meant to be.”

These are the words I was told over and over for the past week to make me feel better. When you are stuck on someone these are the last sentences you want to hear. Yet, these are the exact words that I am telling my best friend.  We say them because we know they are true. There are others out there.

Why am I not slapping myself in the face right now! I’m telling this to you and her and I’m living my life wishing I was with the guy I just lost. What a gigantic hypocrite. It’s hard to move on but easy to tell people to move on. I do know that there are other guys out there but until I find them I will be living my life as a hypocrite.

Honestly, what other words are there to tell someone who has lost someone they cared so much about? I would do anything to see her happy but since I can’t take a guy and make him love her this is about all I can do. She did this for me and I do this for her.

When your friend is down tell them it will be alright and remember to listen to your friends when they tell you the same thing. There are other fish in the sea.

So Cal love,

California Girl ❤